My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
