Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
