my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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