If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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