Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
