I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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