Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
