whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
