dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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