Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
