Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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