I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just googled if crying burns calories
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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