the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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