I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ttyl tear gas
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
