he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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