Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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