walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just cropdusted the office
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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