he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
