I wish I could teleport
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It's blow job season.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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