well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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