Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
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im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive