haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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