Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS