Whod you bang
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.