I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think my mom watched the whole time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize