But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dicks are not precious.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
