physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She bit a glass in half.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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