your room smells of hookers.
And success
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
