I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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