She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
