So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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