Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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