and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
