Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He passed out mid-signature
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
