He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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