Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
