I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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