Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
