I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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