im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
