I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
