hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize