Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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