Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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