Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i drank out of a bidet.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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