By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
