At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
