btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
