So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
