Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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