I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
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Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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