it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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