One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
