last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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