Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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