The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize