I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
