We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
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Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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