just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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