i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
